If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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