Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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