I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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