I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Someone shattered a urinal.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
