I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
