He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
