WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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