i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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