Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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