We're facebook friends in real life
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
whose parrot is this?