I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.