my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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