tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize