Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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