We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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