Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
