all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
