ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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