and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
