it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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