We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dick very happy bro
These tits shall not be calmed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
