I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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