Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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