i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
