Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am available for nakedness
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
