I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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