im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
