Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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