like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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