Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Damn victory sex feels great
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
