There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We are two peas in an std pod
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
