Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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