they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
