I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
