my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
