why didn't you poke me back
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
