She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
