just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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