BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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