You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He? As in you personified your dick?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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