I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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