We won't sleep together?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.