it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
worst night to have a conscience
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.