best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.