I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..