note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize