yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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