it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We're too hungover to prance.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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