I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize