Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
