used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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