I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
