ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You can't just leave with hair like that
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
