i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am mentally ready for anal.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
