Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
