So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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