I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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