I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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