You're completely useless in the revolution.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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