We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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