Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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