Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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