you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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