i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
