I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
