Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
