Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
