if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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