4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
